Queen. Beatrix.

I don't wanna be a candidate for Vietnam or Watergate, cause all I want to do is...

BICYCLE BICYCLE BICYCLE

A hint at something to come.

Cocomama is the hostel I stayed at while I was here. It's the ONLY hostel I'd ever recommend. Super friendly people run the joint and the beds are really comfortable. It's clean. The rest of the travelers are chill and respectful. Plus, there are themed rooms. It used to be a brothel, so naturally and coincidentally, I got tossed in the Brothel Room which is designated by naked ladies on the walls, a chandelier, and... that's pretty much it. But what else do you need beyond naked ladies on the walls?

Tits, man. TITS.

     This is happening in Amsterdam, now. For some ungodly reason.

     I really don't get it. What? Why? All these people want their pictures with these shitty costumed superheroes and horror characters. SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME, because it's damaging my brain. When you're in front of the Chinese Theatre, I get it, you want your kids to have a photo with a movie character. But Madame Tussaud's is hardly a landmark of cinematic history.

     Really though, if you want to experience Amsterdam the right way, just stay out of the center of town as much as you can. It holds its appeal for a very short time and there are almost no Dutch people. And like I said before, rent a bike.